


Ingrained Calling

by purplefox



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 09:56:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7310317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplefox/pseuds/purplefox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something calls to Jiraiya, making it hard to stay still, making it hard to focus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ingrained Calling

It was the most confusing thing he had ever felt. He had felt the need to go, he always had felt the need to travel to keep moving but this was different. He had always known that he was meant for drifting. No matter what, no matter who the need to keep going, to keep drifting just nagged at him until he got up and left.

It worried people. Jiraiya honestly had no explanation for them. It had made his foster parents anxious how no matter what he had needed to be outside, he had to keep moving. They in the beginning had feared for his grades but the more his grades remained the same the less they had cared.

There had been no explanation for his need to wander, the amount of times he had ditched everything and set off on a bus or a train were uncountable. No matter how he was begged Jiraiya had done it. It had settled him, setting off and exploring but only for a while. Eventually he would eye the roads, the buses and the trains again the need to leave almost unbearable.

It was in his late teens that the itch to get on a plane came to him. It had confused him, he had travelled all over the country on trains and buses, the adventures he had been on certainly would worry his parents if they had known but he had managed to keep it in the country now the need to leave the country nagged him.

He had resisted and tried to focus but the buses and trains were not enough. A friend guided him to boats and the relief that came soothed him for a while only.

The only life available to him seemed to be a drifter. Jiraiya felt pity for the couple that had raised him. His grades were great, fine even but when he got published he had felt such great relief that he knew that was what he needed to do.

He split the money, half to the kind hearted couple and the rest he used to get himself on a plane that he could set out. His editor gave him strict instructions and promises to check in regularly with updates and Jiraiya was unleashed on the world.

The feeling of freedom almost made his knees buckle as he stood in the airport. He had picked the first cheap flight that he could, the moment the plane took off the contentment that filled him made him feel slightly guilty before the excitement took over.

X

Jiraiya believed in fate, he believed in higher purposes and all of that, it was how he accepted his nature. It was how he explained the tugging in his chest and it was how he explained his dreams.

Thee had to be a reason he was unable to stay still, unable to find a place to call home a reason that he drifted and drifted, the feeling to wander always coming back because the place was not quite right.

He had dreams of a ridiculous place. Dreams of magic and weird things he could not explain, dreams because he had the same name and where his mission caused him to always keep searching.

His dreams helped in his writing, his attempts to explain what he saw, what he felt helped his books, they became ridiculously popular and when Jiraiya saw how popular they were he had a sense of déjà vu before he shook it off.

The further he travelled the more the dreams changed. He learned names and places although they did not help much. Jiraiya researched as he wrote and where he felt compelled to go he simply went, he dreamed of children laughing and playing, of silly jealousy and admiration.

Deep in a vast forest he fell asleep under a tree and dreamed of a teacher and three children. He heard laughter and lessons and came awake with a tear in his eye and the feeling of having lost something deep in his chest.

Another journey landed him in a temple and he stayed, wrote and felt at peace. They were so secluded it was easy to forget about the rest of the world. Jiraiya explored the mountain and felt at ease. He had moments where he had a flash of familiarity but he brushed them away.

Long spiritual sessions about his journey helped him. Those in the temple felt for him and Jiraiya felt grateful for their hospitality as they tried to help unravel his destiny.

It had been the night after his hauntingly familiar nightmare that the head night spoke solemnly to him. Jiraiya felt a flash of fear as he readied himself to set out on the journey once again.

The nagging feeling had returned but now he had the memory of a back, a pale face and black hair and now he had a name.

The temple that had seemed so inviting, so welcoming felt like a noose around his neck, he sent in the last chapter for the newest book to his editor and set out once again allowing the tug to guide him. It did not surprise him when he was led in a direction far away from people.

X

He had no idea of what he would find, all he had was his dreams to guide him. Memories of a him of long ago. Memories and regret. There was no feeling of certainty simply because he did not know what he was doing, all he was doing was following his instincts and following the tug on his body and his instincts.

He recalled places and events, a life that he almost envied. He recalled so much and the monks had confirmed that he had been reborn and Jiraiya could only wonder why. Had his mission been so important that he was fated to repeat it over and over? Had he failed his mission so badly?

At the end of his journey what would he find? Was he even prepared?

X

His feet were heavy and with every breath he took his body trembled, it was not because of the altitude. It was not because of how far he had walked it was not because of how far from civilization he was, it was simply because with every step up the crumbling steps his heart twisted deep in his chest.

He did not feel the need the flee but with every step he wanted to fall to his knees. There was something at the top and its presence was overwhelming. He doubted it was human, he was unsure to whether it was a god, he doubted such a thin could be a god but he felt grateful he had taken a break and finished his book.

Behind him the steps stretched on. The forest and the mountain itself was silent. No birds, no animals as if they feared to be around. Jiraiya could not blame them he slightly envied them for their wisdom with every step that he made towards the mountain top he felt as if he was sealed from behind.

He believed in fate, he believed he had a destiny. He even believed that he finally knew what that destiny was but he felt unprepared as he climbed the mountain. He had read enough scrolls and books to know what he should find at the top of the mountain.

The forgotten temple, the streams and temple should still be there and if he was correct, that would be the end of his travels until the new location revealed itself.

That did not make the entire matter any easier, but it did not make it any harder.

X

“There should be a limit to foolishness.” The voice that slid from the darkness made him shiver. Jiraiya’s eyes bounced around the temple as he tried to locate it. “Even now you are ridiculously foolish.”

“Orochimaru?” Jiraiya breathed as he searched the temple hall. He had suspected he would find it clean but the level of cleanliness almost shocked him.

“Who else?” The man that slid from the darkness to his right shocked him. Right from his dreams except he was far more beautiful. His hair darker, his smile warmer and teasing and his pale skin resembled snow. Jiraiya was transfixed. “You’re foolish Jiraiya.”

“I had to find you.” Jiraiya mumbled as the man slid closer. The white robe he wore had a golden snake drawn on it and the green eyes glittered strangely where they lay over Orochimaru’s chest, they glittered as much as Orochimaru’s own eyes glittered.

“I know.” Orochimaru said softly. His hand was cool as he touched Jiraiya’s cheek gently. “No matter how many times you always come to find me. Even though you don’t know why, no matter how many times we are reborn, no matter how far I flee you are always on my tail Jiraiya.”

“Then-“ Jiraiya tried to speak but Orochimaru halted him with a simple finger on his lips.

“There is no more village, no more Konoha. No more shinobi no more villages and great country for me to return to Jiraiya and yet you still persist in chasing me down.” Orochimaru’s smile raised Jiraiya’s caution. “It’s been a while since you were last here. You couldn’t stop me then either.”

“How many times?” Jiraiya asked softly.

“The last few times you were reborn… I wasn’t,” Orochimaru said softly, "do you understand?”

“You didn’t die.” Jiraiya breathed.

“Exactly.” The sharp prick to his neck startled him but as his vision clouded Jiraiya felt himself wrapped up in cool arms.

X

“Even when we have nothing you still chase me, no village and you insist on chasing me down, being reborn over and over again.” Orochimaru’s voice was the thing Jiraiya woke to. The restraints on his arms and legs kept him from moving on the bed. “Why do you persist Jiraiya.”

At least he could answer that. “You’re my friend.” He said softly, he could recall it in vivid clarity. Not all his past lives but the one that mattered. “You were always my friend.”

“You died.” Orochimaru said so coldly Jiraiya twisted in order to try and find the man with his gaze. “You died the hero you never wanted to be and when I returned I changed, everyone changed."

“That isn’t what concerns me.” Jiraiya breathed. “I needed to find you, both of us in this world, how could I not search for my friend?”

“No village, no one else but us and you are saying you couldn’t leave me alone? You couldn’t forget me?” The disbelief in Orochimaru’s voice made Jiraiya grit his teeth. “You leave home every single time, you come hunting me down like a bloodhound every time.”

“And you run, every time.” Jiraiya answered. “Will you kill me?”

“No.” The answer came quickly and dryly. “That solves nothing. You just come back and quicker.”

Jiraiya thought over Orochimaru’s answer. “How long have you lived without dying?”

“A while.” Orochimaru responded and Jiraiya hissed when Orochimaru leaned over him, his pale hand stroked the restraints almost lovingly as he studied Jiraiya’s face. “Not everyone returns. Your precious students, I imagine they have no reason to be reborn.”

“And yours?” Jiraiya shot back.

“They were.” Orochimaru shrugged. “Only once, they finished everything they had to.”

“Why then are we reborn constantly?” Jiraiya questioned softly. “Is it because of your desires? Your dream? Your need for immortality?”

“Why I am reborn is irrelevant. I’d rather focus on why you are constantly dragged along with my soul.” Orochimaru hissed. His hand clenched on the restraints. “Tsunade was reborn and you weren’t not until later. You didn’t look for her.”

“She didn’t need me.” Jiraiya acknowledged. “Dan, Nawaki. She most likely was given another chance with them.”

“You tire me.” Orochimaru whispered. “You were a fool then and you are a fool now.  I tire of the same conversation over and over with you. Each cycle of yours you find me faster and faster.”

“Good for me.” Jiraiya grumbled before Orochimaru shot him a glare.

“No it isn’t.” Orochimaru hissed.

X

“How much do you remember?” Jiraiya asked as he stared at the clear lake. The rubble did not take away from the beauty somehow it added to it. The stones that he could see still escribed peeking over the lake.

“Everything.” Orochimaru sighed as he joined him. “Not everything works the same, jutsus are harder to do but nothing I can’t handle.”

“That isn’t what I’m talking about. I’ve dreamed of our childhood. All of it. Of our friendship, have you ever thought that I keep getting brought back because you need me?”

“Or that you need me.” Orochimaru shot back. “I don’t know what you recall but-“

“We were friends.” Jiraiya interrupted. “You’re tired of killing me, I keep coming back. You’re lonely and you’re weary, you are tired of fighting me. I just wish it could have happened when there was still a village.”

“I have grown weary of killing you.” Orochimaru admitted, “But that changes nothing.”

X

“You’re a bastard.” Jiraiya wheezed as fire shot through his veins. “You could have asked me.”

“But I already knew the answer.” Orochimaru mused. Jiraiya tried to glare at him as Orochimaru fiddled with the various medical apparatus. “I actually had decided against this but then you popped up again. Blame yourself, you are simply too naïve Jiraiya.”

“And this is your answer?” Jiraiya choked out as the pain caused his body to shudder.

“You’ll keep chasing me.” Orochimaru answered. “So I’ll keep you with me. Before that was not possible but there is no longer anything. No friends, no village just us.” Orochimaru’s glance towards him Jiraiya almost missed because of the pain that surged through him but he caught it and he read the vulnerability in them and as the next wave of pain wracked him he recalled how awful Orochimaru had been at asking for anything that he wanted.

X

“Unresolved love.” Jiraiya said dryly and Orochimaru paused and turned to face Jiraiya slowly. “That is the reason.”

“It could be a reason.” Orochimaru shrugged. “We killed each other quite a few times," and each time Jiraiya had gone through with it… Orochimaru had the memory of watching the man cry. Not a pleasant thing.

“Something drew me to you, over and over again. That is fate, destiny.” Jiraiya’s touch was gentle almost questioning and Orochimaru savoured the touch that quickly became a caress. “I knew you meant a lot to me but I never thought you were engraved into my very soul.” Jiraiya whispered and Orochimaru leaned forward to touch Jiraiya’s face, the man he had never been able to escape no matter the lifetime, the man he no longer wanted to fight or run from.


End file.
